Tale of the Hair Sniffer

There once was a girl who occupied an apartment on the 4th floor of this building. She once made the mistake of holding up the elevator door for a guy while in the underground garage. The girl took notice of how he was nice and cute. They made conversation and it turns out he just moved from "town a, state x" - what a coincidence! She was from "town a, state x". They continued the conversation up to the 3rd floor where he was currently occupying a shoebox-sized space called an apartment. He promptly asked for her number and she handed it over.

He calls her and they set up a date for a few days later. His idea - "I'll bring over some beer and we can hang out." "Ok", she says.

The day of the "date" arrives and.... we'll skip over the trip to the store, yadda, yadda....

They arrive back at her apartment and have a drink while sitting on the couch. She notices the smell of cheap cologne infused with the stench of Marlboro lights invading her space. Then he leaned over, grabbed her hair and took a BIG whiff. She thought, "ummmmm." He proceeded to tell her, "Your hair smells soooo good." "Ummm, thanks." He then, grabbed her hand and signaled for her to stand up. She stood up. He starts rubbing her shoulders and she's thinking, "ugh, how do I get him out of here!" He then turns her around to kiss her and she backs away. "Um, I have to get up early tomorrow." "but, it's 6:30." "Yeah, I have to get up VERY early." He finally gets the hint and leaves.

He then remembered, the next day, that he forgot his $3.99 on-special-at-Safeway-beer in her fridge and calls her at 8:00am, leaving a voicemail asking if he could come by to get it. She's busy with work and forgets to call, so he calls, again, at 4:00pm but this time not leaving a message. He, most likely, thought calling over and over would help, so he calls, again, at 7:00pm and leaves a voicemail saying that "he really needs to come and get the beer as he'll be having friends over." "mmmmhmmm", she thinks. She decides to take the beer, place it outside her door and call him while she's out to inform him the beer can be picked up - outside her door.

A month goes by and upon stepping off the 4th floor elevator, she smells something vaguely familiar. "Wait a second", she thinks. Marlboro Lights and cheap cologne. Low and behold, sauntering down the hallway with his new "4th floor date" - the Hair Sniffer. She so badly wanted to warn the girl that he's very strange, but decided against it. Is he only dating girls from the 4th floor? Isn't it a bad idea to date people in your building, especially if you have to share the world's slowest elevator? Lesson learned.