The Starbucks barista with a heart of gold.

I wanted to break down and sob.

The one time Scooter is home at a decent hour and I can go try out my new laptop at Starbucks while drinking my crazy Starbucks drink order. Damn it. How did I forget my wallet? It must have completely slipped my overheated mind today to actually transfer it to my purse, my real purse…out of the diaper bag…. To my purse. The thing that has two short straps and no diapers in it, yes, my purse. The bag-thing that is hardly used.

Embarrassment and sheepishness intersect on my face while pulling out my shiny, new laptop which has replaced my very old, ugly, heavy laptop, book I’m currently reading and cell phone and I tell the barista, “I’m sorry, I think I forgot my wallet. Let me double-check the car, “ just as the other barista sets down my crazy, crazy Starbucks order (Iced, tall, decaf, 1 ½ pumps, nonfat, no whip, half ice, mocha) onto the register’s counter.

Yes, I’d forgotten it. Sigh.

As I stood out in the early evening heat with my hair starting to come to life (interpret: frizzing out) amongst the humidity I seriously wanted to curl up in the backseat of the SUV and have a mini-breakdown. Or, perhaps head to Canada’s border and maybe pass as a Canadian just heading home from work.

You see, my day went something like this (and yes, I do understand that most mothers go through these very situations everyday and usually with 2 or 3 kids in tow).

The night before, Austin didn’t fall asleep for “the night” until 12am (so, four hours of off-and-on trying to get him to sleep). He awoke again to eat at 3am then didn’t wake up until 8:30am today to eat again.

I’ve been trying to feed him more “meals” rather than let him lead the way with his “snacking” throughout the day because with the “snacking” it is harder to put him down at night where he tends to down 14 ounces over a four hour period – no joke. (He was eating 6 ounces per mealtime which is every four hours. “Snacking” = 2 ounces here, 2 ounces an hour later, etc).

So, he woke up for the day at 8:30am, fed him 3 ounces, he played for 45 minutes then wanted a nap where he slept for an hour and a half after eating an additional 2 ounces. I tried to nap but couldn’t despite being exhausted.

We wake up and get dressed, ready and we’re out the door by 12pm to go grocery shopping and then to Target for more formula. The heat is unbearable outside. The formula is on sale at Target.

Joey (my helper) feeds him 3 ounces in the car on the way to Target.

[Insert Austin’s cry here]

Head to Trader Joe’s to do grocery shopping. In and out, quickly. Austin is ready for his second nap by 1:30pm.

Get home, feed him an ounce and he falls asleep for an hour.

I decide to do laundry and “Shark” the floors.

He wakes up and is grumpy. Perhaps it’s the heat? Having to look at me…again… all day long?

Maybe he wants to eat applesauce. That worked until he finished the jar.

Rice cereal? Nope.

Maybe play for a little while? Sure, that is fun until he spews two bites of rice cereal mixed in with some formula all down the front of my shirt, into my bra and then somehow it ends up down my pants.

I go upstairs to change, perch him up on the bed, it’s a bit cooler in the bedroom due to the air-conditioner barely clinging to the outside edge of the window.

[Insert Austin’s cry here]

Sigh. What to do, what to do. It’s way too hot for a walk, or even mingling with neighbors outside (if they were outside, which they weren’t).

Sock pop to teethe on?

I bring Austin downstairs to the quilted play area we have for him in the living room. Placed a nice cool, already starting to melt sock pop in between his chubby hands. Works for two minutes.

Um, ok. Austin, I wish you could talk, I think. I know you aren’t hungry. You wanted nothing to do with the cereal. I make him a bottle anyway. No go.

[Insert Austin’s cry here]

It’s 5:00pm and Austin is still unhappy. I try putting him down for a last scramble, god-help-me-please nap. It’s 78 degrees in the house downstairs, not too bad considering the temperature outside is reading over 95 degrees – in the shade.

Nap does not happen.

Sigh. Scooter will be home at about 6;00pm. I can make it until then. I take a deep breath.

Austin is on his stomach in the living room and I’m unloading the dishwasher. The kitchen is disastrous looking.

[Insert Austin’s grunt-whine here…. For the next 20 minutes.]

Scooter is home by 6:08pm.

“Please, take him. I need a break, I just need a break, please.”

“Ok.”

Scooter gives Austin his bath and is attempting to put him down for the night. I contemplate if I still want to go to Starbucks to play with the new laptop, read and sip my crazy Starbucks drink. I’m exhausted and sleep-deprived after being the primary parent for Austin all weekend since Frederick was around this past weekend. The average amount of sleep I’ve acquired each night for the past three nights has been around 4 to 5 hours.

How do moms with multiple children do this? I still have no idea.

I head back inside Starbucks dry-eyed, “I’m so sorry I must have forgotten my wallet at home.”

“It’s not a problem. I can give you the drink! Can I ask you a question about your laptop, it’s so cute!”

“Oh my god. Thank you! Yes, please, ask away!”

So, right now, I’m sitting at Starbucks drinking my crazy drink (thanks to the very kind barista), typing up this post.

And missing Austin.