It's been almost a year.... Re-run: "From the perspective of the wife. Breaking up is hard to do."

Hard to believe it's almost been a year since this post.  We are still alive and kickin' (and not living in a refrigerator box).  Since this post, I've gone back to work part-time to supplement our income and it's been working out well so far.  It is nice to be working again and to be part of a team... colleagues, coffee, the sound of laptops whirring as they work hard to crunch the data in Excel sheets. 

Yes, life is a little different now... and we're rolling with it!  We have almost no medical benefits to speak of, no more fancy gym membership and no trips were taken this past summer.  Some might say we are part of the percentage of people that have become victims of the recession, but to that I say - I think we are lucky.  Lucky that we are not living out of a box and, for the most part, our lives haven't changed drastically.  Yet.  So, having said all that:  We are, and feel, extremely lucky. 

The post below is from October 19, 2010

I know he feels hurt, and the wind feels knocked out of me.  And, although we knew this was a strong possibility I never actually believed it would transpire, almost literally, overnight.  

It's true what they say, "The Entity giveth and the Entity taketh away."  Actually,  they don't say that - I do.  They are lavished with unbelievable, dreamy benefits, money and fancy office buildings decorated in the latest modern art.  Free Starbucks coffee, and Coke and all the chocolate milk you can drink!  And all the while, sweating, racing hearts and thoughts and the pressure to create "more money, make the stock price go up!" coupled with sleepless nights, weeks and weeks of travel away from loving families, sometimes in distant lands where time is a different day altogether from those they left.  Twelve hour work days, sometimes not coming home until 3am to make a deadline. 

I can't help wondering what the hell we are going to do.  What?  10 years and that's it?  Told on Wednesday and last day is Friday?  What the fuck?  He was just given his gaudy, crystal "award" for 10 years with a, ahem, very large software company a few months ago.  He left that behind.  We could have used it as a door stop.

While all these horrifying, scary thoughts go through my mind (you know, the usual:  bread lines, living in a refrigerator box, etc) - I can't help but feel relief for my husband.  I let out a long sigh for him because I know what's it like to work for a company and feel like the gerbil wheel is just going.  It's the same office, the same coffee, the same meetings, the same bitching about this not doing this correctly.  It gets old, stale, moldy and tasteless. 

I want him to breathe.  I want him to take some time and try to figure out what he really wants to do with his life.  Something other than try to make someone's stock price go up.  
 

Life changes quickly and I truly feel things happen for a reason.  My husband was not meant to stay at that place because he deserves better than that.  He deserves to feel, at the very least, valued at the end of the day and a true sense of accomplishment.  Hopefully this leads to something better for him and I don't mean monetarily.