I started to feel a bit better starting yesterday which is good news. Caring for a baby all day alone and dealing with postpartum depression is horrible. As I'd mentioned before, most of my symptoms appear in the morning then dissipate in the afternoon so when I woke up this morning without feeling completely tense or anxious it felt like a great relief. I know I'm not out of the woods yet and, actually, never will be but the medication is helping slowly but surely.
Before, when I'd go through these episodes, it would cross my mind that it was all in my head. Who needs medication - it's all in my head, right? I wish that were the case. I've tried, and failed horribly, 3 other times before this episode to let each one resolve on its own. It never worked and I would only get worse- way worse.
My last episode which took place in the summer of 2004 was the worst. I woke up every morning for 3 weeks throwing up from the anxiety, staring at myself in the mirror willing myself to go to work so that I wouldn't be fired. I went to the doctor and my anxiety had come back along with the depression and she told me to never go off of my medication. When/if I decided to have children we could discuss options...
I'm glad I had a plan in place prior to giving birth since I knew was susceptible getting PPD. These past few weeks could have been a lot worse.
2 comments:
I am so glad you are feeling better! Thank God the Doc's are so open and willing to talk about this stuff and prescribe medication.
I'm happy to read that you are starting to feel better!
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