He's brilliantly brilliant...

and I met him years ago.  All the way back in 2003.  He caught me fresh from a divorce.  I'd been wrung out and hung to dry and just really wanted friends at the time.  Through the course of a somewhat drunken birthday night out, coming home and having our friendship trip and fall into something that shouldn't have been - I started to worry I'd made a huge mistake. 

In retrospect, I don’t believe I did - not at all. 

Even though the relationship had crumbled and I sincerely knew it was not at all meant to be, I wanted to shrink and disappear.  It would end up being the catalyst for the final descent into an already spiraling episode of deep depression that I was already riding.

The depression was not his fault.  It was no one’s issue but my own.   My theory is that this episode, the one that I will always refer to as “the summer of 2004”, was a delayed reaction to my divorce (and impending possible- lay-off from my first job out of college) that was finalized the previous year.  It was going to happen regardless of any other situation crossing my path at that time.

My Friend.  The friend with whom I’d endure watching Mystic River (I had nightmares for a while), search for “the perfect hamburger” a good part of one Saturday afternoon and discover that there is other coffee out there (particularly, Victrola) than just Starbucks.  He will always conjure the better memories when I think back.

He’s been a wonderful friend and particularly when I was suffering terrible postpartum depression.  He was always just an instant message away and assured me it was ok to message him when I was feeling particularly low.  At times, my husband was busy or not online, so I would message my Friend and mention I was extremely anxious and in return he’d talk me down without even realizing it.  He was never judgmental.  He never said, “It’s all in your head.”  He simply listened and responded with the best advice he could while sympathizing. 

I’m extremely thankful for friends like… my Friend.  I’m lucky. 

And still, in retrospect, I don’t believe I made a mistake - not at all.